Stand Your Ground. Can We Stop Lying to Ourselves?

Anonymous 1 it’s really very simple, if you don’t want to get shot – don’t start violence. If someone is rude to you because you are in a handicapped spot, its not ok to shove them. He escalated that confrontation to physical violence and that’s the repercussion. Is it unfortunate? absolutely – that whole situation…

Read More

Book 14: The Color Purple–Alice Walker

I’ve seen The Color Purple with Whoopie Goldberg, Danny Glover, and Oprah, no less than ten times. I’ve also seen the (first) broadway version of story and would like to see the more recent (and apparently better) broadway musical. But I’ve never read the book. Surprisingly, I didn’t finish the book and think about how…

Read More

All on a Mardi Gras Day…while sober

I was sober this Mardi gras as part of my year-long commitment to sobriety. Everyone was very concerned for me about how it would be without alcohol; how difficult it would be to just drink water (I don’t drink soda) while everyone else was in their own giggling, tipsy world. But it really wasn’t a…

Read More

Letting Go of “I’ll Show You!”

Being an overachiever often means an inescapable feeling of inadequacy. Couple that with being a Black woman in the US, and you’ve got a recipe for pathologically setting unrealistically high expectations followed by harsh self-criticism when you inevitably don’t meet those expectations. As a kid, being an overachiever usually meant reaching a predetermined goal that…

Read More

Days 64 & 65: AOS Paperwork and Crazy Doctors

December 16-17, 2014 Besides the obvious requirement of getting married within 90 days, part of the K1 visa also requires you file for the Adjustment of Status (AOS) within that same period of time. After that, you’re good until the bureaucracy decides to get around to your application and grant you, first, an employment authorization, and then…

Read More

Struggle for Freedom

Thursday and Friday of my week in Joburg/Pretoria were spent at museums. The first place we visited was Freedom Park in Pretoria. It was highly rated online but I wonder how many people actually visit, because it’s kind of in the middle of nowhere and you have to drive through some pretty dodgy areas to get there.…

Read More

Another Stunningly Ahistorical Comment on Race

This mess right here. I knew it would be bad when it started off with the oft heard excuse of wearing the confederate flag as just being a symbol of pride in heritage. I went to high school in the south, and I expected the confederate flag waving, and while it didn’t really get under…

Read More

The benevolence of slavery?

“No portrayal of minority experience in the history which actually occurred shall obscure the experience or contributions of the Founding Fathers, or the majority of citizens, including those who reached positions of leadership.” History textbooks in US public schools have always been kinda of a shit show. They’d always frame slavery as a purely “economic…

Read More