All on a Mardi Gras Day…while sober

I was sober this Mardi gras as part of my year-long commitment to sobriety. Everyone was very concerned for me about how it would be without alcohol; how difficult it would be to just drink water (I don’t drink soda) while everyone else was in their own giggling, tipsy world. But it really wasn’t a…

The Impact of Police Violence is Far Reaching and Long Lasting

Last week I, as many others, looked for every update that could be found about Erica Garner. Horrified at the possibility of police violence claiming yet another victim. Hopeful that she would pull through. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. At 27, a woman who had to watch her father get choked to death on TV…

By: like black butterflies November 12, 2017November 12, 2017 Reflectbe deliberate, be intentional, be thoughtful, building relationships, lost art, meaningful communication, nostalgia, passing notes, pen to paper, writeLeave a Comment

The Lost Art of Writing

Remember when we used to write to each other with a pen on a piece of paper? We wrote notes and letters in our everyday communication, we sent cards for every occasion with personalized messages in addition to whatever was pre-printed, and we actually wrote out thank you cards? Everything is electronic now, the art…

By: like black butterflies March 16, 2016April 20, 2016 Feel, Love90 day fiancé, becoming american, cultural adjustment, immigration, international love, K1 Visa, legal immigration, long-distance relationships, MR90DF, reality TV, relationships, TLC, Visa Journey1 Comment

My Real 90 Day Fiancé

WAIT–What’s a 90 Day Fiancé? If anyone has watched the TLC show, they have some notion of what a 90 day fiancé is. Except, if you’ve watched the show and know nothing else, your idea would be very skewed, melodramatic, and scripted since the way those couples were portrayed–their relationships and finances–wouldn’t pass the sniff test…

Our Humanity Is Worth More Than Their Bottom Line

I hadn’t planned on updating my blog yet. I’ve had something else in the works but wasn’t ready to release it yet. But in the wake of this disgusting, though unsurprising, decision not to indict Darren Wilson, I had to disrupt my plans. We all know the stat…every 28 hours a black person is killed…

By: like black butterflies July 13, 2013July 15, 2016 Questionfear, genocide, George Zimmerman, injustice, Trayvon MartinLeave a Comment

License to Kill: The Illusion of a Free and Democratic Society

I have a difficult time describing to people from other countries why I don’t love my country. Why I don’t uphold it to that same beacon of hope and social inclusion that it’s portrayed to be. Why I’d almost recommend that immigrants, especially of African descent, go to any other developed nation but ours, even…

By: like black butterflies August 13, 2012July 15, 2016 Reflect, WanderBloukrans Bridge, bungy jump, Face Adrenalin, fear, garden route, South Africa, Tsitsikamma1 Comment

Face Fear

“Fear is temporary. Regret is forever.” That statement couldn’t be more true. It’s the motto at face adrenalin–the bungee jump at Bloukrans Bridge in South Africa, which holds the Guiness World Record for the highest bridge jump in the world (216 m/709 ft). This past weekend I faced one type of fear (sheer terror, to…

By: like black butterflies May 12, 2012June 25, 2018 Wandercommunication, international travel, language barrier, racism, stereotypes, Taiwan, xenophobia2 Comments

Hand Signals & Calculators

Stop for a moment and think about all the personal encounters you’ve had in the U.S., or have witnessed, with non-English speakers. Think about the level of impatience had with, or complete dismissal of, that non-English speaking person. We are, as a nation, pretty ridiculous. As are some other nations when it comes to non-speakers…

Be

When I started writing this “about me” section, I realized I was writing more about WHAT I do, rather than WHO I am–a habit I think is all too common. WHO I AM: I’m a quiet observer of the world. An avid and vivid daydreamer. Someone who has a million ideas and thoughts, but is often too…

Be Intentional

Where did the title “like black butterflies” originate? Over the holidays I was sitting at the kitchen table with my sisters trying to come up with a new blog and a new blog title. We threw around different combinations of words that were related to what I wanted to blog about and what kind of…

Be Moved

i lost a whole continent. a whole continent from my memory. unlike all other hyphenated americans my hyphen is made of blood. feces. bone. when africa says hello my mouth is a heartbreak. because i have nothing in my tongue to answer her. i do not know how to say hello to my mother. –african…

#TBT: Happy 30th Birthday to Me!

By: like black butterflies September 20, 2018September 19, 2018

Thrive30 to 30, apeshit, Atchafalaya, Beyonce, black owned business, black phd, BoBs, grind til I own it, Jay Z, Journey to 30, OTRII, phd journey, phd life, Printed Pattern People, this is 30Leave a Comment

I have a problem! A legitimate issue with follow through! If you’ve been following, I did this 30-day, one post a day countdown to my 30th birthday, but realized I started a day early so instead of my birthday being the 30th day, the day before was. So like the lazy person I can be…

30 “Dates”–The Rest I Got Around To

By: like black butterflies August 19, 2018August 19, 2018

Wander30 Dates, 30 to 30, Journey to 30, La Musee de FPC, NOLA livingLeave a Comment

11. Blueberry picking in summer–June 2018 I’ve been wanting to do this for years but would either forget about it until blueberry season was nearly over, or not really find people interested in going. I made it happen this year. We drove to the middle of nowhere Mississippi, really middle of nowhere to the point…

Academic Racism

By: like black butterflies August 18, 2018August 18, 2018

Questionacademic racism, black girl magic, Brittney Cooper, Eloquent Rage, structural racismLeave a Comment

As I’ve been working towards my PhD, one thing that’s often struck me is the way in which white researchers, white academics, write about issues that affect Black people. Even some of the authors that I think have a decent racial analysis, who discuss the ways in which structural racism operates to create systems of…

#FBF–Cachoeira to New Orleans

By: like black butterflies August 17, 2018August 17, 2018

WanderAfrican Diaspora, Bahia, Brazil, Cachoeira, cultural retentions, FBF, growing pains, personal development, Salvador, study abroad, wanderlustLeave a Comment

Maybe a year ago, maybe more, I was going through old photos and I stopped to look through the images taken while I was studying abroad. In 2009 I spent a semester in Northeastern Brazil, my first time really living in another country. I’d visited other countries before, but for a matter of weeks, not…

30 Restaurants: Bennachin & Antoine’s

By: like black butterflies August 16, 2018August 16, 2018

Savor30 restaurants, 30 to 30, Antoine's, Bennachin, cultural retentions, Journey to 30, NOLA eats, NOLA living, west africanLeave a Comment

Bennachin Restaurant This is a West African restaurant, specifically based in Gambia and Cameroon, although there were some menu items from other countries int he region, located in the French Quarter. It’s tiny, you could miss it walking by, as I have on COUNTLESS occasions. It’s right near Verti Mart if you know where that…

Book 18: Eloquent Rage, A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower–Brittney Cooper

By: like black butterflies August 15, 2018August 14, 2018

Question30 Books, 30 to 30, black feminism, black girl magic, black rage, Brittney Cooper, Journey to 30, well read black girl, words of wisdomLeave a Comment

What I loved about reading this book is that she spoke so directly to so many of my life experiences, particularly when it comes to Black exceptionalism, overachieving, and adherence to respectability. While we decidedly had very different economic upbringings, it was like we experienced the same social frustrations and racial animosity of instructors and…

Whitney Plantation

By: like black butterflies August 14, 2018August 13, 2018

Wander30 Dates, 30 to 30, black history is American history, Journey to 30, peculiar institution, plantation tour, slavery, sugarcane, triangular trade, Whitney PlantationLeave a Comment

I’m trying to resist writing too much about my experience at Whitney, but it’s difficult because it was such a great tour. If I compare Whitney to the narrative I was presented at Melrose Plantation earlier this summer, it’s like night and day in terms of content and critical race analysis. Basically the Melrose tour…