My Real 90 Day Fiancé (MR90DF): One Year

October 14, 2015

The best way I could write this was as a letter to my husband:

Dear Efrem,

One year. It’s been one long year, and yet it’s only been one year. One year since you stepped foot in the United States. One year since we got the privilege of beginning our lifelong journey together. One year since I got to see you for the first time after 15 months when I left you in an airport in Cape Town, both of us in tears, and then you met me in an airport in New Orleans, as I held a sign up with your name on it and we both grinned stupidly. It’s been one year of new experiences, one year of happiness, and one year of many trials. We either foolishly, or sensibly depending on how you look at it, took on more in this one year, than many couples would take on in five, and are still together to look back on it and learn from mistakes, reflect on memories, and laugh.

In one year:

  • You left everyone and everything you’ve ever known and moved in with me in my small apartment that had plenty of “visitors”
  • You battled those “visitors” and defeated them
  • You moved to one of the strangest, yet most lovable cities in the world
  • You experienced an intense first Halloween ever in said city
  • You learned how to drive on the opposite side of the road
  • You learned how to pump gas for yourself (instead of having someone pump it for you)
  • You proposed to me on a beach
  • And then promptly thereafter, met my parents for the first time in person
  • We went house hunting
  • We found a house and put an offer on it
  • You survived a Thanksgiving with all of my family in one place
  • You survived an hours long inquisition from my oldest sister and brother-in-law
  • We got married on the side of a highway by a clerk
  • We celebrated our first Christmas with my parents
  • We closed on our first house together
  • We both celebrated our first New Years in New Orleans
  • You started school again
  • You learned how to use a dishwasher and a washing machine
  • You survived your first Mardi Gras
  • You got a job here
  • You found a community here
  • You made lasting friendships here
  • We started building our first home together and survived all the struggles and surprises that homeownership brought
  • We fasted for lent together and then cooked our first traditional Ethiopian Easter dinner together
  • You survived your first family reunion
  • We celebrated your birthday in the same place for the first time
  • We got a puppy and learned how to take care of him together
  • You obliged my desire to participate in many of the strange festivals and rituals that go on in New Orleans
  • You obliged my love of eating “weird” foods and finally tried some, even against your better judgment
  • We endured financial strain and the trials of sharing one car
  • We survived the wedding planning process
  • We both survived the immigration process and you are now a permanent resident with your green card!
  • You met and bonded with more of my family who you hadn’t met yet during our wedding weekend
  • We had an AMAZING, multi-cultural wedding

There are so many other things I could write about that we’ve accomplished and gotten through in this past year, but I think what’s most important, is that throughout all of this, our moments of joy and our many (inevitable) disagreements, we’ve chosen to stay committed to one another. Our love for each other has not only persisted, but has grown. And we’ve grown into better people.

Happy One Year, Efrem. I look forward to a lifetime of more “One Years” with you! #Krewe_of_I_Do!

Love you always,


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