They have power—to hurt, to heal, to humiliate, to praise, to love, to thank, to forgive, and it goes on. Today I was going through my obiemail deleting things and deciding which e-mails I wanted to save and forward on to my gmail account. There are a lot of words in these e-mails that I wanted to preserve—many of them words of business, inquiry, assignments, meetings. Many of the words are negative and meant to hurt and not enough of them were meant to encourage (although I relish the ones that were, thank you kyla, danielle, marissa, heather, be steadwell, and others who I’m blanking on.)
I’ve been called a good many things throughout college, exclusively by people who don’t care about me or respect me. And as I was looking at these e-mails and the volume of e-mails I had my junior year in particular. I don’t know how I stayed sane, I actually don’t think I was. I was doing, and planning, and organizing SO much and taking a full course load. Every time there was a fought to be had I fought it, and every time there was something that needed to be done I did it. And to this day I have to say that not enough respect or thanks has been given or can be given to those black women who worked their behinds off that year in the black community (Danielle Taylor, Marissa Kennedy, Kyla Moore, Heather Harvey). It was definitely difficult to see what the point was then, but it becomes so much clearer later on that those times are what builds character, integrity, wisdom, and God knows what else that will help you get through and succeed in life.
I don’t always say the right thing, and sometimes I say exactly what I mean without my intentions being clear to the receiver. But the people who mind don’t matter (and many of them don’t go very far *cough*) and the people who matter might mind but will always ask for clarification 😀
There are many words I use to describe myself, and many words that have been used to describe me. But today a new word was used—LAZY. Never has a word been used to describe me that has been SO inaccurate and unable to even be interpreted in a way that may fit me some of the time. I’ve been called mean (yea, sometimes I am), crazy (I don’t think the way it was meant was the way I interpret it but it does sometimes suit me), passionate, determined, stubborn, over-committed, spacey, scattered; I’ve been told I care too much and too little…but NEVER lazy. Lazy didn’t get me to college, through college, and to an occupation after college, albeit temporary. The irony is from whom this most uncharacteristic word came from.
It just goes to reinforce the point that family isn’t all biological