All posts filed under: Feel

a connection–intimate, platonic, familial, human, empathetic

My Real 90 Day Fiancé

WAIT–What’s a 90 Day Fiancé? If anyone has watched the TLC show, they have some notion of what a 90 day fiancé is. Except, if you’ve watched the show and know nothing else, your idea would be very skewed, melodramatic, and scripted since the way those couples were portrayed–their relationships and finances–wouldn’t pass the sniff test at the interview to even be granted the visa to enter the country. But I digress. A 90 day fiancé is the colloquialism for a K1 visa holder, who is an international fiancé(e) of an American citizen, who upon arriving in the US, has exactly 90 days to get married to said American citizen and file for an adjustment of status (AOS) to become a permanent resident (i.e. a Green Card holder). Essentially the 90 days is a deadline where if you do not get married and officially file an AOS before that date, which is the date the K1 visa expires, the visa holder essentially can be deported back to their home country, as he/she will no longer have …

Days 64 & 65: AOS Paperwork and Crazy Doctors

December 16-17, 2014 Besides the obvious requirement of getting married within 90 days, part of the K1 visa also requires you file for the Adjustment of Status (AOS) within that same period of time. After that, you’re good until the bureaucracy decides to get around to your application and grant you, first, an employment authorization, and then eventually the green card. Part of the stack of AOS paperwork to be sent is the medical exam and medical records. When most foreign fiancé(e)s enter the country, they’ve already completed their full medical exam and it’s just a matter of filling out the remaining paperwork and mailing it in with the (very high) fee. But sometimes, that person may be missing one or two vaccinations depending on whether they were in stock in the country where they did their exam, and whether or not it’s flu season at the time. When Efrem did his medical exam they were in their flu season (SA has seasons opposite ours), but they were out of the flu vaccination. So we thought that …

Day 49: I Now Pronounce You…

December 1, 2014 For it being the day that we legally became married, it was pretty uneventful and rather underwhelming. Not that we wanted it to be a big deal, it’s just funny to think about what we did on the day we got married. Everyone took their time getting up in the morning since we had just gotten back from Virginia Beach very late the previous night (or was it super early morning?). We could get married anytime during working hours so we decided to get married around 1 PM. At around noon, everyone went upstairs to shower and get dressed. Efrem put on his suit, I put on a short white dress I had purchased months before, hoping that I hadn’t gained too much weight (fortunately it still fit nicely). We took a bunch of “selfies” in our room before we went downstairs and took a bunch more. When my parents were ready we all loaded up in the car and drove to the county clerk’s office. Inside the clerk’s office we finished …

Day 39: Obstacles to getting married

November 21, 2014 Efrem and I are taking a longer than normal Thanksgiving break, because this will be his first one, and because as a family we decided to try and do a repeat of last year (having an extended family Thanksgiving). This year my cousin, who lives in Virginia Beach, decided to host it. So we had a pretty long (15 hour) drive ahead of us, that we were going to do with my parents. But before the long drive, my parents, invited us to this fundraising dinner that was going to happen before the Thanksgiving trip, so we drove over to Destin a couple of days early. We’ve been debating for the longest how we wanted our “legal-day” to go. “Legal-day” meaning the day Efrem and I get legally married. We realize that married is really only married if it’s done legally and that calling it a “legal-day” is a bunch of semantics, but that’s how we think of it. We don’t view it as our wedding day because that will be the day (next year) when …

In the words of Ice Cube, Today was a good day…

Life has become complicated lately. A frustrating congregation of stressful events and one infuriatingly stagnant process. But today was a good day. A GREAT day. It started off with that gross feeling of not getting enough peaceful sleep–that achey, sore-eyed feeling that not even 2 cups of coffee can fix. It progressed into being somewhat productive: I learned how to hem clothing, and I shortened the pant legs of a new jumpsuit I haven’t been able to wear yet since it was dragging all over the ground. I also baked a two-layer fresh-strawberry cake frosted with strawberry puree buttercream. But the climax of the day was receiving the news I (we) had been waiting on for 6 MONTHS: that long awaited email from USCIS with the 2nd Notice of Action (NOA2). For anyone who knows how painstaking and exasperating the immigration process is, that text/email from USCIS with the NOA2 is THE best feeling, only surpassed by the final receipt of that prized visa in hand. So with regards to that, I think (I hope) …