Destabilization

A friend of mine subscribes to Power Path Seminars: School of Shamanism, which offers “practical shamanic education in an organized way for those who wish to study and practice shamanism.” Each month there is a forecast and a theme. A couple days after new years, she read me this year’s theme: destabilization–with secondary attributes of interruption and disruption.

As she was reading me parts of the very long description of the forecast:

This month you will experience a movement and destabilization that will feel initially like everything is out of balance…There could also be an adrenalin rush or a sense of physical discomfort where relaxation seems impossible. Reactions could also include a loss of appetite or unconscious binge eating. It is an upset due to what has seemed stable being turned sideways.

Destabilization can show up in many aspects of your life and we would like to point out that the purpose of it is positive in the end. Your experience of this month will be directly related to how you accept, navigate and allow for the disruption. You will have an opportunity to move yourself from one experience into another through the rip in the fabric of your own stability that the disruption has caused.

You have a plan. Suddenly something changes, a flight gets cancelled, a weather system comes in, a friend changes plans, you get unexpected news, you get sick, the power goes out, your car dies, there is an emergency, someone needs help and so on. This causes an interruption to your flow and a disruption to your plans. You have a choice as to how you react to this inconvenience. You can either resent it, feel martyred, put upon, impatient and irritated, or you can see it as a necessary intrusion that you have created that allows you to do something completely different from your original plan. If you always have the idea and intention that these interruptions and disruptions will lead to something better or at least give you an opportunity to eliminate something no longer useful, then you will feel much more in control.

[Yes, that was a long excerpt, but it was a really long forecast.] Anyway, when she first read it, we both kind of nervously chuckled thinking maybe this is just an exaggeration, or maybe this won’t apply to us, or really, maybe this is all just a crock of ish.

I wish.

I got hit over the head with destabilization, interruption, and disruption. TKO. My new year started off fairly well, in NYC visiting old friends, making new friends, rekindling a love for capoeira and samba, having hopes for new apartments with padmapper/craigslist/google searches for apartments. I knew there were going to be some issues in finding a new apartment in two weeks and moving all while starting a new semester, and I knew that there may be some issues with getting my loan disbursement, but I was ready–or so I thought.

I flew home last saturday, and then it started. BAM–saturday night, my laptop battery dies. okay, a few tears, but it can be replaced, it turns out for a lot less than I thought, but not a great unexpected expense. Sunday morning I packed my car and drove to New Orleans. I made great time and got there around 3:30 in the afternoon. Started unpacking my car and bringing things into my house. The house was kind of cold, so I went to turn the heat on…it didn’t work. Okay. Something just must be wrong with the thermostat. So I walk back to the door to get some more things out of the car…pass by the kitchen and notice the clocks on the stove and microwave aren’t on. Power outage? Wait, no, the clocks aren’t flashing ’12:00.’ DAMN! My fears were confirmed when I flicked the light switch and no lights came on. My wonderfully well-mannered roommate, shut the electricity off while I was on break—I have words for her, SMDH

Talk about a whopper of a destabilizing force. Worse still was opening the fridge to the horrendous smell of rotting food, and the freezer full of huge chunks of mold. Turns out my power has been out since Dec. 27, and I found out today that my water was also shut off. Sooooo, I’ve been sleeping on a friends couch since Sunday since the power company “can’t” turn on the power until tomorrow. Meanwhile, classes started today. Less than 2 weeks: that’s how much longer I have at this apartment before I move and we both break the lease. And yet, my wonderfully well-mannered ex-roomy (who’s still paying rent for this month even though she physically left) somehow couldn’t have just TOLD me that she was taking all the bills out of her name so that I could have called the companies weeks ago and avoided this entire ridiculous situation. Talk about vindictive.

Well–like the forecast said, I can either sit around totally frustrated and pissed and let it mess me up physically and mentally, or I can view this destabilization as an opportunity for growth; for inviting something new into my life and maybe running into something better than I had previously planned or imagined. *sigh*  I’m working on it. The two day headache hasn’t been so great, so I guess I need to try the latter option.

As for my roommate, to quote the Foreign Exchange:

I’ve seen a side of you werent meant for, Your house of cards is gonna fall, Sooner or later You will pay for, Your house of cards is gonna fall, Too late to cry your gonna get yours, Your house of cards is gonna fall

Can’t wait to see what February’s forecast is.

-J