I didn’t really plan on writing on my blog after I got back from Brazil, but I guess it’s easier than keeping a journal—which I’m terrible at. I’ve been back in oberlin for a month now. I forgot how depressing it is to be here. I thought the urge to leave was just a result of a strange and drama filled jr. year, but I think it’s just time to go. Many of the people I connected the most with (although I didn’t realize it until late in the game since I was busy caught up in foolishness) have gone and graduated; leaving only a handful of people I can stand to be around for more than an hour at a time.
I scoffed at the whole re-entry process coming back from abroad, but there’s just something about some trips that irreversibly change you. Some things that I thought were important aren’t and other things that I just kinda let slide I have no patience for. On the one hand I feel a certain level of being unfinished with oberlin, like there are things and experiences I was supposed to have had that I haven’t (also graduating means leaving this level of comfortability and moving on to a different level of independence, which is a little scary). On the other hand, I would like to be somewhere else.
I want to enjoy my last semester the way any other quasi-finished senior would—having fun, partying, dancing, finally drinking legally, etc. But I realize that there aren’t many people or places here that are enjoyable. Parties/dancing tends to result in these throwback high school moments, that just throw me off, or such an extreme level of insobriety that it’s no longer fun with people falling all over themselves and getting sick.
I will make the most of this semester, it’s the only last college semester I’ll have, but it’s gonna be hard to fight the urge to just stay in my house and watch a movie. Ah well.